Blogger Widgets When My Life Becomes a Book: Lack of confidence

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Lack of confidence

I had a dream last night, where I was at work and it was the first day back at work after being off for almost 3 years. The dream started as the shift at work started, it was a rush around me as the others were rushing and I was drifting through my shift. Soon I became behind in my work and I was having anxiety because I wasn't sure if I was going to get to all of the patients I was taking care of by the time my shift ended and I was lacking self confidence. When I worked last time I would drift through my shift because I had a pattern, I was organized, I had a routine which gave me self confidence.

This live in position as a caregiver (my job offer) would be a little simpler because I would only have one person/ patient to take care of and there wouldn't be a rush once I became organized and had a routine. This dream I had caused me to awake with a headache because of the frustration of thinking about this job offer but I have 3 weeks to get myself together before I start the job, and not only that is that I will gain self confidence the more I think about it, and try and get organized within my own mind.

Another issue is that I would miss my boyfriend Ted, and I know he is going to be lonely without me living there, but the money involved would be great, because I am barely making 550 a month now, and with this job I'd be making at least 2,000 a month. But he supports me even know I can tell in his eyes he is sad about it, and doesn't think I need it because I am with him. He has lived by himself for 20 years before I moved into his house and he says he is just now getting comfortable about me living there, and that he is happy then he has ever been in his life with living with me because he loves me. But he will be lonely if I get this job because it is a live-in position. He didn't like that loneliness, as a lot of people don't, especially since he had that loneliness for so long. I get lonely for him and miss him just when I am not with him for a couple hours.

Please be sure and read my other blogs posted below;
My Other Blogs;
1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery

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Little Wing said...

The money will be great for you, will you have days off when you can go stay with your boyfriend?
I sure hope so!!!!!!

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