Blogger Widgets When My Life Becomes a Book: October 2007

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Rather Feel Pain

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

Monday, October 29, 2007

With No Money Down? (what a joke)

I know that all of you have ran into awebsites or ads stating that its "free" to join, by want your credit card number, email address, home phone and sometimes even your physical address. So whats the catch? its not give them your life history, sometimes your social security number if your was that dumb at one time).

So you wonder why they want all that information from you and they say its "Free"...OH Yeah, every things "Free" right?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Lord I Pray...

I don’t know how to feel, or what to do next. I’m homeless, and with no money, I have a child that's 17, just one more year and I feel I have failed before she makes it on her own. I’ve been selfish, thinking only of myself,. I worry on where we are going to stay each night, and if any of the people that we stay at cares. They just are just getting tired of us and this is all getting old.

Things aren't happening as fast as I want them to, I’m use to making 2,400 a month and now its completely dropped to 550. a month because I was injured. Workers Comp and Disability has run out, I’ve gone to Welfare, taking pills for chronic pain and losing weight, loss of time...where do I go from here Lord, I pray, I cry and scream, wondering where my life is heading. I’ve failed my kids, attempted suicide, tried overdosing, I want to sleep forever, but life continues, I have kids that look up to me. Its too hard lord for me, please lift all of this off my shoulders, take my emotional pain away and chronic pain, so I can think straight.

I thank you for all you have given me through my life. I am proud of my children in what they have become, each and everyone of them bring me happiness, I wish I can return the favor...Amen

Saturday, October 27, 2007

The Cutting Edge

What gives a human soul the thought to self destruct? the desire to feel pain inflicted onto them. Most of time I feel numb, I just want to feel something, whether it be love, anger, destruction or pain. And then I choose to stay numb, by using anything to not feel anything. I wonder how about I began to become the way that I am. Was it my childhood lifestyle, my past relationships? maybe Karma if anyone believes in that.
I've become my own worse emeney, cutting, straving, and self pity, I grovel, and scream and cry. No I don't think the world owes me anything, I just feel the way I do because my emotions take over. It isn't me, its someone else, its a "I dont feel, or want to feel anything, so just leave me be". I want to leave this life of mine, but I wouldn't do it by drowning, I have a fear of drowning, or maybe I should and face my fear. I want to sleep and never wake up, cut myself and watch me bleed. I am not one to faint of the site of blood, I am a retired Nurse. I ask myself what there is left in this life of mine, and I have not come up with any answers, so I just cut, take pills, and cry...

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Immigration rules stifling career moves for overseas workers

Career progression among overseas nurses working in the UK is being stifled by immigration rules, the RCN has warned.

Last year nurses on Agendo for Change bands 5 and 6 were removed from the Home Office shortage occupation list (HOSOL). Since then employers have only been allowed to recruit band 5 and 6 nurses from outside the European Union (EU) if they can prove there are no suitable candidates from within the EU or the UK.

Nurses from outside the EU and already working in the UK must also apply for a new work permit if they change employers. RCN immigration adviser Susan D'Cruze said the rule restricts the movement of overseas nurses.

'Many overseas nurses want to move to new employers, either to progress their careers or for family reasons. But changing employers requires a new permit and this is now difficult to get,' she explained.

The Department of health commissioned a review of staff shortages, which last month recommended that midwives be removed from the HOSOL The Home Office has yet to decide whether to take up the recommendation.

Royal college of Midwives director Frances Day-Stirk described the recommendation as short-sighted, adding: This shows a worrying lack of understanding of the problems facing England's maternity services.'

Thursday, October 11, 2007


It can often be useful and interesting to wander away from
your original path for a while. Sometimes you discover a new
and much more fulfilling direction that way.

Yet if all you ever do is wander off, you won't be able to
get anywhere. When you give in to every distraction, nothing
will ever get accomplished.

Be curious, be open to new experiences, be willing to do
things you've never done, to go new places and to meet new
people. Remember, though, to also give your life a solid,
steady context through which you can create real value out
of all the diverse experiences that come your way.

A stable foundation in your life does not necessarily have
to limit you. In fact, it can enable you to make the most of
the new and interesting opportunities that come your way.

Being well grounded provides a strong base from which you
can operate with effectiveness and confidence. Taking good
care of the mundane and boring aspects of life gives you the
time, energy and resources to fully explore the most
exciting possibilities.

Be sure to mix your progressive, adventurous vision with a
good dose of old fashioned common sense. It's a proven
recipe for outstanding success.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Self-Injury or Self-Mutilation

Self-Injury or Self-Mutilation?

Self-injury is not something people talk about very often, but for an estimated 2 to 3 million Americans it is a serious problem. The majority of people who self-injure are women between the ages of 13 and 30, but there are "cutters" of every age, gender, and economic group.
People who "self-injure" are not usually suicidal. They do however, intentionally inflict injuries upon themselves, usually in response to stress or trauma. Their injuries may vary from minor cuts that heal quickly to very serious wounds that leave permanent scars. This is also known as "Deliberate Self-Harm Syndrome".
If you or someone you know self-injuries, please get professional help right away. This is just an overview of a very complex myriad of syndromes.
Self-injury usually indicates that somewhere during development that person didn't learn good ways of coping with overwhelming feelings or stress. They’re not sick or insane; they just never learned positive ways to deal with feelings and emotions for various reasons. Positive coping skills can be learned at any point in life. People who self-injure can learn to use new and healthier coping mechanisms. This process may take years to develop with the help of a skilled therapist familiar with this condition.

The late Princess Diana's word's shocked the world when she admitted in a television interview that she intentionally cut her arms and legs and had thrown herself down a flight of stairs on more than one occasion. FINALLY, self-injury -- the practice of deliberately cutting, scatching, burning, or otherwise injuring one's own body -- was about to come out of the closet. After that interview thousands of self-injury survivors called or wrote the media in response to that interview in just the United States alone.

Cutting seems to be the most common type of self-injury. "Cutters" often use razors, utility knives, scissors, needles, broken glass, or whatever they find to make repetitive slices on their arms, legs or other body parts. Some people burn themselves with cigarettes or lighters, others pull out their own hair. Many people who self-injure say they do it because they normally feel "numb" and cutting helps them to "feel alive." Others talk about the "sense of control" they may get from self-injury. This may be the first time or thing that they have felt a sense of control in their lives. Most agree that incidents of self-injury are triggered by stress and anxiety.

Self-injury is usually kept secret, and the "cutter" often feels deep shame and guilt from this ritual. People who self-injure are at risk for infections if their wounds are not treated properly. Permanent scarring can also result from self-injury and often does. Many people who self-injure wear long pants, long-sleeved shirts, and turtle-necks even in warm weather to conceal the marks they've left on their own bodies.

Why Do People Self-Injure?

This problem is not completely understood by health care professionals or psychologists. It seems to be most common among people who have been sexually abused as children, molested as children, or by survivors of "sexual_abuse.htm".
Whatever the context or reason, self-injury seems to function as a coping mechanism. "Cutters" use self-harm to feel calm, "in control," or just to "feel something." However, self-injury is not a healthy coping mechanism - it is a self-destructive behavior that probably reflects deeper, more complicated mental health or personal problems.

Some Common Factors of Self-Injury

1.Age of onset between 10 - 16 years old
2.There was a major change in the teen's life -- parents divorce or death
3.There is a history of family violence, abuse or sexually abuse
4.Intense feelings of fear, hurt, anger, rejection or abandonment
5.Feelings of loss and or need for control

Some Common Reasons Why People Cut Themselves

These are some of the reasons our readers who "cut" shared with us.
They find it soothing:
To feel pain on the outside instead of the inside
To cope with feelings
To express anger towards themselves
To feel alive and real

A way of communicating what they can't say with words:
To tell people they need help
To get people's attention
To tell people they should be in hospital
An attempt to get people to react to their action:
To get people to care for them
To make other people feel guilty
To drive people away
To get away from stress and responsibility
To manipulate situations or people
Triggering Events Reported by Young Adults Who Self-Injure:
Being rejected by someone who is important to them
Being blamed for something over which they had no control
Feeling inadequate
Being "wrong" in some way

Monday, October 8, 2007

When you set out to cause harm to others, you will harm
yourself even more. If your intend is to deceive, you will
find that you have succeeded in cheating yourself.

Make your purpose to give, and you will end up receiving
something of real and lasting value. When your goal is to
teach, there is much that you will learn.

When you sincerely appreciate others for who they are, you
will be genuinely admired for who you are. Act with respect
in each encounter, and you will be well respected.

The motives that you direct toward others will, without fail
and without exception, affect you as well. You cannot escape
the consequences of your own intentions, so make those
intentions positive.

intend the very best for all of the world around you, and
you will benefit greatly as well. Seek to give nourishment
and support to life, and you will grow stronger with each
passing moment.

What you give to and wish upon your world determines what
comes into your life. Give your very best at all times, and
that is exactly what you'll get.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

For Sale 1903 St Louis Built by George Dorris

My Dad is selling his Fathers 1903 St Louis, it has been in the family for over a hundred yrs. I have search through the internet to find information on this runabout built by George Dorris and only one page came up. If you are interested in this 1903 St Louis, please email me and remember that this car has NOT been restored, it is in its orginal condition and due to aging the paint has cracked. My email is ( I dont have any idea on a price to list this car of my Dads, if you can give me some ideas then email me. Thanks again !!!

Invisible Crime

Most women who have been sexually assaulted go through periods of depression, loss interest in sex, and become distrustful of men. This can last for months, even years.
Some women develop eating disorders, self-medicated through drugs and alcohol as ways to cope with the after effects of such a painful experience.
In ways, rape is an invisible crime. The physcial effects usually heal within a matter of months, bruises fade and cuts heal, but the emotional injuries never disappear completely.
When a women is raped by someone she knows, however, it is harder to see the bad guy in him. They onced trusted, loved and devoted herself to him and then they turn into someone they never knew. The loss of a loved one is almost as painful as the rape itself. So she feels she can never trust a man again. Rape survivors are in todays society. Victims of crime often face insurmountable obstacles in trying to bring the perpetrators to justice.
Many women who have suffered rape or other forms of abuse are too intimidated by cultural attitudes and state inaction to seek redress. To do so can lead to hostility from family, the community and the police, with little hope of success. Those who do seek justice are confronted by the system that ignores, denies and even condones violence against women, and protects perpetrators, whether they are state officials or private individuals. Sexual violence, an invisible war crime.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007


Enlightenment is like the moon reflected on the water.
The moon does not get wet, nor is the water broken.
Although its light is wide and great,
The moon is reflected even in a puddle an inch wide.
The whole moon and the entire sky
Are reflected in one dewdrop on the grass.

Thrifty Store Adventure

My daughters and I took a trip to the thrift store to look for costumes, what do you think of our outfits? please leave a comment and tell us what you think...;)

Don't you love to just go into a thrift shop and try on clothing like this?

The Glasses make the picture perfect, what do you think?

should we go to the bank looking like this?

The thrift shop we went to, you could barely move around. It was so packed with clothing, shoes, glasses, coats, and jewlery. We had a blast and the woman that owns the store allowed us to try on just about anything we wanted. It was a moment to always remember. What are you dressing up as is on Halloween? can you guess which one is mee?

Monday, October 1, 2007

Information and help with my blogs

It amazes to me how complicated placing ads into my blog is for advertising. I know it can be more simpler, I have not quite got the Knack for it just yet, but I am learning each day. Today I have been searching for sponsors on my blogs. If your interested you can email me @, I’ve been on disability, and Workers Compensation.
I am learning through internet, subscribers and other resources. I feel like I am a slow learner, some of this doesn't make any sense to me. For one thing, what exactly is incoming and out going links, I know that incoming links are more important than out coming links. I wish I had a tutor to explain all of the questi0ons that are rattling within my mind, I find that I am fascinated in blog and web designing, sounds so interesting to me, please take the time to read my other blogs listed to the right, I need some feedback on exactly what the heck I am doing. Thank you !!!