Guilt driven

Its not about you. The purpose of MY Life is far greater than my own personal fulfillment, my Peace of mind or even my Happiness. Since I quit drinking alcohol, I have been aware of reality Its has not been as frightening as the first time I quit. I feel confident that I will succeed in this battle of alcoholism.

If I want to know WHY I was placed on this planet,I must begin withGOD (my higher power)I was born by his purpose and for His purpose.

The search for the purpose of Life has puzzled people for thousands of years. That's because we typically begin at the WRONG starting point--OURSELVES.

For everything abolutely everything, above and below, visable and invisable....everything got started in HIM and finds its purpose in HIM.
colossians 1:16 (Msg)

Unless you assume a GOD, the question of life's purpose is meaningless.
Bertrand Russell, atheist

Before you were born, GOD planned this moment in your life. It is No accident that you are holding this moment. GOD longs for us to discover the life He created us to live---here on earth, forever in eternity.

Many people are driven by Guilt They spend all their entire lives running from regrets and hiding their shame... Guilt driven people are manipulated by memories. They allow their past to control their future (I am guilty of that, for sure). Also---theyoften unconsciously punish themselves by sabotaging their own success.

I am so guilty to this, but you never think of it because, unconsciously I do it without even realizing it. My drinking is self destruction, self centered, feeling sorry for myself, and most of all hurting the ones I love the most. I have destroyed 2 of my relationship caused by my drinking, and one just recently, he was my best friend, lover and soul mate, and I don't know whether I can repair it. Its the trust, the lies, and the booze that put me in this lonely situation. But maybe its not so lonely...because I've become closer to GOD

Here are the top ten as I write this post.

1. youtube.com
2. myspace.com
3. orkut.com
4. en.wikipedia.org
5. ebay.com
6. facebook.com
7. fotolog.com
8. flickr.com
9. friendster.com
10. photobucket.com

My other blogs;
1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery

Alcolism Part 2 "Recovery"

Alcoholism part 2 is just the beginning of my recovery. Last Night I dove into a bottle of whiskey and hurt everyone I love in the process. Today is a new beginning, a new start, my cravings for alcohol have left me, its a Demon that grabs you and without the strength of my "Higher Power" ...

One Day at a Time"

My torn up my relationship with my boyfriend, hurt him, my kids and myself.My oldest daughter once told me the alcoholics are selfish, I admit to being selfish, I admit to being wrong and... Saying your sorry doesn't fix it.

No one can Help me but myself. I am willing full hearted to success and recover.

Me and my girls went shopping for a dress for graduation, we tried on dresses, shoes and even hats. I took some pictures of our shopping spree. I will have to post them tomorrow because my daughter has the camera...Stay tune tomorrow.

read my blog titled "Struggling Parents", it be a crazy few months for me and I've made it more miserable by drinking and adding it to my frustrations. My blog I mentioned above is the method to recovery, the method is called "My Ladder".Today I took the first step on the ladder, my Ladder to success, to stop all negative memories, false illusions, hurting others and living in denial.

My other blogs;
1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery