Fully Experience

The way to be respected is to be respectful. The way to be heard is to listen.
What do you wish to experience? Give it to others, and you will surely find it appearing and growing stronger in your own life.
To make a positive impression, find the qualities that are positive and valuable about every person you meet. What you send is amplified through the lives of others and comes back to you without fail.
Every day is filled with opportunities to offer genuine and meaningful kindness. The more of those opportunities you follow and fulfill, the richer your life becomes.
Advantages built on brute force and deception will crumble quickly. Achievements built on kindness, respect, understanding and love will continue to grow in value and influence.
Give, and as you do you'll be able to give more and more. The life of your dreams is now yours to give, and to fully experience.

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Subscribe to When Life Becomes a Book by Email ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ My other blog; ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 1. Across this bridge 2. Struggling parents 3. When life become a book 4. Read Between the Lines 5. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery 6. Layout Marketing 7. Internet Lifestyle 8. Marketing Myself

To feel pain/ or to feel numb

Yesterday I wanted to feel numb, feel nothing. I felt dead inside and out. Worthless is the word with anger built up. I then wanted to feel pain, cut me, like I've done so many times before. Not to kill myself but just feeling the knife slide through my arm, and watch me bleed. But I didn't feel the pain, burning myself with a cig is the most painful thing. I light a cig and place it to the soft part of my skin so that it would hurt the most. Why do I feel I deserve feeling the pain? my kids suffering, bad choices, going the direction I went. I can see my life traveling right before my eyes with 4 eyes of my 2 daughters. I wish they understood the choices they make are the choices I took and it got me here, which is nowhere. homeless, dying inside, I can almost smell me rotting inside.

I am working on trying so hard to let it go, its out of my hands, and place it into Gods hands, telling him they are his children and they don't need to suffer like I did and my Mother experienced the same cycle. I put her and my Dad through what my kids are putting me through. I never knew it hurt them that much, as it hurts me each day. I start to pray around 4am and continue to pray in silence until my boyfriend awakes. But the pain is still there, and then the numbness, the desire to feel pain in a different way. It forces me to cry, not to hold it in, letting it go, but its the wrong way to feel it.

My heart aches, stabbing feeling, and not like the love loss of someone intimate, just someone I care about, a different kind of love, my children are my life, I think of them everyday and a couple times an hour.

My plan;

to try to think positive, let things go, allow them to go on their own...

Subscribe to "When Life Becomes a Book"