Forgiveness

Everyday its been a struggling with me and my addiction. Some days are just overwhelming that I've given in. Ican't explain it, other then my lifestyle needs improvement, and to search for happiness within myself. Forgiveness is the number one thing and then Happiness.

Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.

Emily Dickinson:

All but Death, can be Adjusted—
Dynasties repaired—
Systems—settled in their Sockets—
Citadels—dissolved—

Wastes of Lives—resown with Colors
By Succeeding Springs—
Death—unto itself—Exception—
Is exempt from Change—

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do FOR someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: "Am I willing to waste my energy further on this matter?" If the answer is "No," then that's it! All is forgiven.

Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.

Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim.

There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. Nothing!

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Mahatma Gandhi

When you feel that forgiveness is necessary, do not forgive for "their" sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they would come to you and ask forgiveness but you must accept the fact that some people will never do that. That is their choice. They do not NEED to be forgiven. They did what they did and that is it - except for the consequences, which THEY must live with.

"The only upside of anger is the person you become. Hopefully someone that wakes up one day and realizes they are not afraid of the journey. Someone that knows that the truth, is at best, a partially told story. That anger, like growth, comes in spurts and sits and in it's wake leaves a new chance of acceptance and the promise of calm." From the movie, "The Upside of Anger" starring
Kevin Coster and Joan Allen

Forgiveness is the most important single process that brings peace to our soul and harmony to our life.

Finally..I think I learned how to create a link back for my ad to go in other blogs, check it out !!!





Wish to link back , just copy code below to get this logo.

<a href="http://teri432004.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="" src="http://a205.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/8/l_e14b74c5e35b0cf39a6dc9729254ce0c.jpg/" height="125" /></a>Struggling Parents

Ok...so Chilly (from the blog titled "On the Bricks") showed me how to do this link back , which took me FoReVeR..lol..I told you all that I'm a little SLOW





Wish to link back, just copy code below to get this logo.

<a href="http://onthebricks.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" title="On The Bricks"><img border="0" alt="On The Bricks" width="125" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v383/28262/Buttons/otblogo.png" height="125" /></a>

My other blogs;
1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery

Shame is...

I wrote this poem this morning, I have also tried to define the word "Shame".

"A failure at my own game"

A failure at my own game.
I have put myself to shame.
Each day I rise, everyday I realize,
what is this world going to be like?
will it be another fight?
gasping the thought of the being of the day to be positive,
until the end of the day became negative.
slowly the sun drops down,
the desire to addiction grabs a hold of me
spins me around, so I am not able to see.
The morning comes
and just as the rising sun
you've realized your a failure
putting another day to shame,
wondering if this day today will be the same.

Shame is something we all have, whether it be locked up within, so deep, that you are in denial, or haunts you to the end. This is a poem I wrote just this morning.

Shame is the consciousness or awareness of dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation. Genuine shame is associated with genuine dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation. False shame is associated with false condemnation as in the double-bind form of false shaming; "he brought what we did to him upon himself".
Shame is also avoided in the "real" world as well. In fact, most of us feel shame about feeling shame. As a result shame is rarely acknowledged to others, or even to oneself.

alienated inadequate helpless powerless defenseless weak insecure uncertain shy ineffectual inferior flawed exposed

unworthy hurt intimidated defeated. rejected dumped rebuffed stupid bizarre odd peculiar different

Shame manifests itself physically in a wide variety of forms. The person may hide their eyes; lower their gaze; blush; bite their lips or tongue; present a forced smile; or fidget. Other responses may include annoyance, defensiveness, exaggeration or denial. Because the affect of shame often interferes with our ability to think, the individual may experience confusion, being at a loss for words, or a completely blank mind.

Shame is often experienced as the inner, critical voice that judges whatever we do as wrong, inferior, or worthless. Often this inner critical voice is repeating what was said to us by our parents, relatives, teachers and peers. We may have been told that we were naughty, selfish, ugly, stupid, etc. We may have been ostracized by peers at school, humiliated by teachers, treated with contempt by our parents. Paradoxically, shame may be caused by others expecting too much of us, evoking criticism when our performance is less than perfect. Some authority figures are never satisfied with one's efforts or performance, they are critical no matter what. Unfortunately, these criticisms become internalized, so that it is our own inner critical voice that is meting out the shaming messages, such as: "You idiot, why did you do that?," "Can't you do anything right?,"or " You should be ashamed of yourself," etc.

Clearly these shaming inner voices can do considerable damage to our self esteem. These self criticisms, that we are stupid, selfish, a show-off, etc., become, in varying degrees, how we see ourselves. For some of us, the inner critical judge is continuously providing a negative evaluation of what we are doing, moment-by-moment. As mentioned before, the inner critic may make it impossible for one to do anything right, telling you that you are too aggressive, or not aggressive enough, that you're too selfish, or that you let people walk all over you.

Definitions of the word "Shame";

1.	the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.

2.	susceptibility to this feeling: to be without shame.

3.	disgrace; ignominy: His actions brought shame upon his parents.

4.	a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: The bankruptcy of the business was a shame. It was a shame you couldn't come with us.

–verb (used with object)

5.	to cause to feel shame; make ashamed: His cowardice shamed him.

6.	to drive, force, etc., through shame: He shamed her into going.

7.	to cover with ignominy or reproach; disgrace.

—Idioms

8.	for shame! you should feel ashamed!: What a thing to say to your mother! For shame!

9.	put to shame, a. to cause to suffer shame or disgrace. b. to outdo; surpass: She played so well she put all the other tennis players to shame.

My other blogs;
1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery